MTB section trip to Manchester

2 Dec 1995

The CUCC MTB Section Manchester Trip
2-3rd December 1995

The weekend's MTBing took place in the Dark Peak area 
just near Oldham, made possible by staying at Greg 
Elwell's Parent's house. OK, ignoring all the details about 
getting there, and the trip itself, the MTB'ing was 
excellent - 7 riders went up from Cambridge (myself, 
Jez', Tim, Alex, Mike, Ken, Shane), and we were joined 
by Greg, & James Cooper on Saturday & Sunday, and 
Paul Palfreyman on just Sunday.

Saturday's ride took us to the end of Greg's road, and up 
a few steep hills to a nearby quarry, where Greg 
managed to lose his chain, and Ken his water bottle. 
After a bit of playing around we headed up a nice little 
incline (Boat Lane) towards the Penine way, then north 
towards Littleborough. To say visibility was crap would 
be putting it mildly - at some stages people at the back 
could not see the front of the group. Still, some excellent 
uphills were conquered, folowed by some screaming 
downhills on which no-one managed to stay on their bike 
- a storming down-hill into Littleborough ended the first 
half-day, and the search for lunch began.

NO CHIPS - WE HAVE NO CHIPPIES IN HERE SIR!! 
(ask Ken about that one)

Yes, the chip shop had ran out. After much running 
around, we ended up buying loads of cold food from a 
local supermarket, and sat in Jez's van munching away. I 
don't know about anyone else, but the lack of a hot drink 
inside me definitely affected my riding during the 
afternoon - although the food I ate probably had more to 
do with it! The afternoon's ride took us back down south 
towards Grasscroft (Greg's home), but after a couple of 
hours it quickly became evident that not everyone was 
going to make it back. We stopped in Denshaw and rang 
forward for Jez' & his van to come to the rescue, with 
Shane and Greg continuing on home via the off-road 
route. The lack of people who remembered to bring lights 
necessitated this as much as anything else, as it was 
getting darker by the second. Back home, everyone ate 
& slept & stuff!

Sunday's ride began at about 9.20am, as a result of 
having to meet Paul Palfreyman at the car park below 
Dove Stone reservoirs, just outside Grasscroft. A gentle 
amble up the steep track of the left hand valley took us 
about 40 minutes, followed by a 6 minute descent down 
the same track, much to the annoyance of people who 
didn't make it to the top and saw us screaming past them 
in the other direction whilst still ascending - Even Jez' 
came, and bought his Leg along for the ride!

Following a re-group, we headed off up the right hand 
valley - a much steeper affair with tarmac and rough 
sections, drainage ruts, and a gate half-way up to 
complicate matters. Greg's Ma & Pa were out on the hills 
too, on running shoes and mountain bike respectively. 
Greg' myself, Shane & Paul managed to get to the top of 
the track - and then the fun started.

Greg went off down the hill at a rate of knots, warning us 
all about the dangers of hitting drainage ruts at speed, 
and apparently proceeded to do exactly that, flying 
through the air and catapulting himself off the edge of the 
track, down a 20ft verge and landing in a rock field. By 
the time Shane, myself and Paul were well into our 
descent, Mike was already further up the track waving 
madly at us to slow down - naturally we ignored him, 
thinking he was just taking the piss, until we rounded a 
corner to find Greg lying in the road covered in blankets 
with lots of people huddled around him, and a mangled 
bike by the side of the road.

Suffering from severe shock, Greg then proceeded to get 
back on his bike and ride down the hill - again way too 
fast. After a chin-wag in the car park, he then proceeded 
to ride home despite our intentions of throwing him in the 
car and taking him to casualty - luckily his mum follwed 
on to sort things out.

Without a ride leader our afternoon riding got re-shaped. 
We had snack lunch from a caravan in the car-park, then 
headed back up the track we'd just stormed down, 
turning right at the gate half-way up to follow an old tram-
line along the side of the valley above Grasscroft. Lots of 
ruts and stones provided for technical riding, finishing up 
with a tarmac down-hill back into town, where the second 
crash of the day happened - Tim's wheel's just flipped 
out from underneath him, and he skidded across wet 
tarmac, grazing his hands and knees quite badly. Luckily 
Alex was well prepared with antiseptic cream and 
plasters, and we patched up Tim & his bike for the brief 
ride home. Upon arriving we were informed Greg had 
gone to Hospital for a check up - about time.

All in all a great weekend, from which a couple of 
valuable lessons can be learned:-

   1. Wear a helmet - Greg' forgot his and is lucky to be 
alive.
   2. Don't eat 6 Mr Kipling Mince pies and expect to be 
able to ride a bike. 

When we left, Greg' still hadn't returned from casualty, so 
we can only hope he's OK. Many thanks must go to his 
parents for putting up with having their house taken over 
by 8 muddy bikers fromm hell - hope we can go back 
again sometime! [I phoned Greg's parents from 
Cambridge that evening. He wasn't a very happy chappie 
but he hadn't broken anything, he just needed a few 
stitches in his elbow. - Jez]

Paul.

Another view
I would just like to say, as regards the weekend trip, that 
any town in which you cannot get a portion of chips on a 
Saturday afternoon should be shot. Of course as Paul 
Brookes mentioned we all learned some very valuable 
lessons from the weekend: 1 never eat 3 kg worth of 
absolutely crap food before a grinding uphill ride. 2 Never 
wear a helmet, Greg conviently showed us that you can 
suffer being ejected from your bike at 40 mph, take a 30 
foot fall and still get up with your head in a reasonably 
identifiable piece, ie 2 ears, nose etc the usual bits. 3 
The last but most important lesson, 2 beds, jez gets one, 
fair enough, who was it again, that slept in the other, 
Paul Brookes?? who is probably the 2 nd most senior 
member, no not paul, ah well at least it was some other 
senior member of the club who justifably gained the 
comforting rest of a soft mattress and a polyester 
cushion, for a full 2 NIGHTS!!

I would like to finish by saying after careful analysis of a 
burger sample, purchased from that burger hut we 
encountered on Sunday, the analysis revealed:

    * 20% pigs testicle
    * 20% ducks piss
    * 20% cows ass
    * 20% inflamed ovaries from a dying hen
    * 20% just general unidentifiable crap 

I realise that I was not the only person to consume this 
once in a lifetime rarity, and therefore I felt it was only 
right and proper to let all those people out there who had 
a burger to know the truth.

All said and done it was a fucking good weekend!!

Kenneth Keavey

Jez